Articles of Inspiration and Guidance

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”—Margaret Mead

An investment executive reads at an orphanage during his lunch hour. A mother receives a gift of much-needed food and immediately shares it with another hungry family. An elderly man distributes sandwiches every evening to the homeless in his neighborhood park. A teen spends her vacation building houses for poor families rather than scuba-diving.

Unlike news headlines that shout out bad news and horrific happenings, goodness often reveals itself quietly. The people doing good work, true everyday leaders, will likely tell you, “It’s no big deal. I’m just doing my life.”

It’s true. Those who practice grace are not saints, not perfect people. And they come from all races, ages, genders, spiritual beliefs and lifestyles. They are ordinary people doing acts of extraordinary importance.

What Kathleen A. Brehony discovered in writing her book, Ordinary Grace, is that for these people, acts of kindness lead to the kind of meaning and fulfillment that makes life worth living. In other words, we make a life by what we give.

The grace Brehony refers to encompasses compassion, altruism and empathy—in essence, all forms of loving-kindness, or, acting with the goal of benefiting another. These are values that most of us share. And in emergencies, such as the recent hurricanes, grace is usually more prevalent.

But many people fail to bring their everyday actions into accord with their beliefs and values. We have the best of intentions but are overwhelmed by the demands of everyday life.But many people fail to bring their everyday actions into accord with their beliefs and values. We have the best of intentions but are overwhelmed by the demands of everyday life.

“Unless our insights result in some practical action, they are not useful at all,” the Tibetan spiritual leader Dalai Lama says. “With compassion, one needs to be engaged, involved.”

We all have hundreds of opportunities a day to either pass along a spark of grace or to pass up leaving the world a bit older and wearier. Brehony offers 13 steps to making a difference in your life and others’ by living grace in action. Here are some of them. the opportunity,

Discover what you love. What’s important in your life? What’s missing?
Be prepared for pain as well as joy. It can hurt to care. But acting on that care, participating in transforming the suffering, is nurturing.
Simplify and scale down. Where in our lives is there time for grace to enter? Learn to say no to that which is not meaningful to you.
Put belief into action. Virtues such as kindness, generosity and thoughtfulness are not intended to be lofty ideals but rather modes of behavior.
Find grace in small things. Writer Alice Walker suggests, “We have to regain our belief in the power of what is small.
Build on your immediate, personal connections to others. What do these relationships mean to you? Can you build them into something stronger, more solid, deeper?
Model good behavior. Children learn mostly by what they see and hear.

“We all make decisions about what we will emphasize as we live our lives,” Brehony says. “Whether we ‘tune in’ and open our hearts to ordinary grace or not is a personal choice.”
Kathleen A. Brehony Ordinary Grace

Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications

Overwhelmed? Finding a path through the dark means taking small steps.

Look in any thesaurus, and the synonyms for overwhelm are pretty awful: overpower, subdue, oppress, quash, engulf, swallow, submerge, bury, suffocate. Groan.

I think everyone has been experiencing ‘overwhelm’. The COVID pandemic made even simple tasks like grocery shopping a fearful and frustrating experience. Whether the overwhelm is sudden or cumulative, chronic or acute, the feeling is one of immobility and powerlessness.

When you feel overwhelmed, tasks that used to take only 10 or 15 minutes feel utterly impossible. When we’re overwhelmed, making dinner becomes a monumental effort, but we can’t go out to our favorite restaurant because they are closed. After a year of everything being stressful we become overwhelmed. The hope that this will pass, people can return to work, children can return to school, has been crushed by months of endless cancellations, closures and conflicting information. We seem hopelessly mired in the quicksand of anxiety and the desire to have some semblance of “normal”.

I have always been a believer in goal setting and each New Year holds promise and I set goals for what I want to accomplish. Last year, two thirds of my goals were completely unattainable on some level. I felt overwhelmed that I could not fulfill even half of my goals. After surviving 2020, I realized that it wasn’t about planning huge projects and ambitious goals, but to setting goals that were personally enriching and satisfying.

Celebrate those small steps along the path.

My biggest revelation was that I wasn’t celebrating any of the accomplishments I had made toward a goal. I was too focused on the final outcome and my ‘too slow’ progress toward that goal.

For me, the key to not feel overwhelmed, is to scale back. I often set expectations for myself that in the long term are not sustainable. All my big goals were waiting and the path to get there seemed like a road under construction, orange barrels and stalled traffic. Until I read the book, Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything. In the book the author, BJ Fogg, promotes the idea of setting tiny goals that can be easily accomplished and celebrated. My biggest takeaway was that I wasn’t celebrating any of the accomplishments I had made toward a goal. I was too focused on the final outcome and my too slow progress toward that goal.

I simplified my goals into categories like Health, instead of lose 10 pounds this month. In the Health category I had: Take Vitamins, Drink Water, Walk, Track food . When I accomplish just one thing in that category, I count that as a success. Tiny habits helped me to not feel overwhelmed because I was able to accomplish and celebrate my small steps toward being healthy every day. It was as simple as star on the calendar for each day I completed the tiny habit. It encouraged me to see how many stars I could get in a month and feeling like I wasn’t overwhelmed but, instead smiling at a whole calendar filled with stars.

In the shadows of the COVID pandemic I learned a couple of things. First, is to appreciate the small things in life. The time with family and friends is something I took for granted and now I make time for connecting even if it is a Zoom call. I celebrate my small achievements toward bigger goals and try not to focus on my slow progress. Secondly, I am grateful for the everyday beauty of the world around me. The spectacular sunset or brilliant stars on a cold winter’s night or the silence of falling snow are a moment in time that will repeat but never be the same. I am grateful that I can enjoy them in that moment and I feel at peace, not overwhelmed.

Category: Express Gratitude

Putting Grace Into Action

A Path Through the Dark